again.

it happened again.

bah.

so frustrating.

is it just that there's something wrong with me?

or that i'm just being stupid trying?

haha.

went to westfield fountain gate todayyy.

and i deposited cash $$$ from work into my bank account!

woots.

and i almost, ALMOST didnt shop at all..

but ended up getting myself a cute mickey night wear and a boxers for a total of $15.

-_-

well..at least that was all.

and, and..we bought krispy kreme too!

oh, forgot to mention that i went there with some workmates..

then later after that went over to her place and had donuts and lambbb and salad. (:

so totally skipping dinner tonite..at least that was what me and my friend said earlier.

but..i'll pbb get hungry some time around 9 or ten ish..so yeah.

i might js eat stg.

fatness

haha ok, here goes a typical girl again.

complaining about being fat when they're just skins and bones.

which in my case...it's not so true.

i'm feeling the fats on me face now...dayum.

and on me legs...dayum.

and on me thighs...

and me waist and stomach. HAHAHAHA

ok this can totally be explained by (at least that's what i think)..

me eating late dinners..and eating more than what i normally eat.

which can also be explained by my lack of gym workouts due to my work.

AND

it can also be explained by one of my many sacrifices and effort that i put in. (hidden meaning =D) haha

man..i dont wanna look chubby in photos.

cos it's kinda like important that i look nice in photos that will be taken these few weeks. =p

shucks.

imma eat my dinner now + watch supernatural.

my wish list.

like everyone else..i too, have a wish list.

luckily, that doesn't include clothes anymore.

for some reason I'm not that keen to shop anymore, pbb cos i'm occupied now for the time being.

my wish list:-

1. a car

- it has become quite a pain to take public transport to travel everywhere now

2. a small digital camera

- ok, i know i have a freaking dslr, but it can be quite troublesome to bring around when i'm just out shopping or having a cup of coffee with some friends.

a canon powershot-sx210 IS?

Ann introduced this cam to me..but now there's really not much reason for me to get one anymore.

3. visit japan, korea, europe.. and any other places i've never been to.

- would be great to be able to visit places without any worries over the obligations in life like studying or working. if only life is that easy.

4. a steady job

- i might sound like a hypocrite..since i said i want a job, but yet i'm doing not much to achieve that. haha. i'm practically like a lil spoilt brat waiting for a job offer to miraculously pop up out of nowhere. lol.

5. be at two places at once

- i so wanna be able to spend my life with my parents and family back home. but yet, i want an independent life by myself too. -_- it's pbb cos here i have freedom and no restrictions whatsoever, but i tend to get lonely stimes too despite having alot of friends here. and also another reason which you wouldnt want to me to get started on, or else it's just gonna turn out to be another emo post =p

there's probably more that i want but i can't be bothered writing more.

bah.

i was about to say that i really should start getting serious with my life here in Melbourne.

feel like bitch slapping myself for talking but always not doing anything about it.

damn hopeless lah me.

m&ms and lollis.

i have this sudden cravings for chocs.

uh-ohs.

and i seem to be eating alot lately.

like my idea of alot is when i eat till i actually feel full.

totally dislike the feeling when i feel too full cos it just makes me feel blotted and uncomfortable.

boo.

OMGGGG by Usher is yums.

(=

and here's the remix that poots' totally in love with, and i'll gladly share it with you guys.

15 more days.

you.

despite telling myself it's gonna be ok..

that it doesnt matter and that i can move on like u've never been part of my life before,

i can't help but admit that those are all just lies.

lies. lies.

just so maybe,

i will be able to move on easily and continue on with my normal life like i never came across u at all.

i cant help but think about how u will move on easily like i never mattered to you at all.

considering your past incidents with others.

if only, i can have some supernatural talent like a "listener" from legend of the seeker that'll allow me to read minds..and just so i can know what's on your mind.

you're still like a person filled with mysteries to me.

there are many things that i don't know about you.

i wish there'd be more time and chance for me to get to know you more.

i want to, i really do.

like how i realised how childish u can be at times; making me laugh cos of ur silliness.

how when u feel cold, u won't even complain to me at all..but instead just walk on silently with that particular expression on ur face.

like how u were so scared of heights the other time at st kilda..and acted like a lil kid who's afraid he'll fall off any moment.

like how u'd make time for me despite having plans already..and moved ur plans to another night.

and like how.. u can be such a stupid ass stimes and rather watch world cup then go fetch me from the station with your friend's car; or chat with ur cousin or watch supernatural instead of replying me on whatsapp.

and now..we'll never be able to share more memories together..

me getting high and you taking care of me again.

or me pigging on biscuits and you eating from your whole tub of yoghurt.

or me bullying you while ur body aches all over from gym.

and other countless things i wanna do with you.

a vacation somewhere, celebrating special occasions tgt..going to a ball tgt.

u are seriously the best thing that ever happened to me.

if only things were different, and u didnt have to leave.

ok. i must be mad, as mr pan says.

i think i am too.

Defqon?

Defqon anyone?

Kinda into trance and hardstyle music recently.

not that i know much abt it..js that the music's pretty good.

i wanna know where i can download the albums..kinda noob at this man. haha.

ohh, i set up a tumblr account too. but then...

i have no idea how to use it. LOL

super noob man me.

so guess i'll js stick to blogspot.

AND i dont even know how to delete the tumblr account. lol

feel damn stupid sia..haha

family & friends

i have awesome family + friends.

even if i feel lonely and down..

their small actions and words can lift my mood and put a smile on my face.

donno how i can live without them.

<3

"It is not the end of the world."

wokays.

got it.