you.

despite telling myself it's gonna be ok..

that it doesnt matter and that i can move on like u've never been part of my life before,

i can't help but admit that those are all just lies.

lies. lies.

just so maybe,

i will be able to move on easily and continue on with my normal life like i never came across u at all.

i cant help but think about how u will move on easily like i never mattered to you at all.

considering your past incidents with others.

if only, i can have some supernatural talent like a "listener" from legend of the seeker that'll allow me to read minds..and just so i can know what's on your mind.

you're still like a person filled with mysteries to me.

there are many things that i don't know about you.

i wish there'd be more time and chance for me to get to know you more.

i want to, i really do.

like how i realised how childish u can be at times; making me laugh cos of ur silliness.

how when u feel cold, u won't even complain to me at all..but instead just walk on silently with that particular expression on ur face.

like how u were so scared of heights the other time at st kilda..and acted like a lil kid who's afraid he'll fall off any moment.

like how u'd make time for me despite having plans already..and moved ur plans to another night.

and like how.. u can be such a stupid ass stimes and rather watch world cup then go fetch me from the station with your friend's car; or chat with ur cousin or watch supernatural instead of replying me on whatsapp.

and now..we'll never be able to share more memories together..

me getting high and you taking care of me again.

or me pigging on biscuits and you eating from your whole tub of yoghurt.

or me bullying you while ur body aches all over from gym.

and other countless things i wanna do with you.

a vacation somewhere, celebrating special occasions tgt..going to a ball tgt.

u are seriously the best thing that ever happened to me.

if only things were different, and u didnt have to leave.

ok. i must be mad, as mr pan says.

i think i am too.