interests

I'm in need of some new interests.

any suggestions?

something to fill my free time up properly..perhaps, cooking? ^^

I saw some korean recipes online..and some people are really capable of whipping up some absolutely tasty-looking dishes..but then again, i'm never really a huge fan of cooking.

Simple steamed eggs :)

hmmm..

independence

being here in aus is all about being independent

everyday is like a lonely stroll down the same path

waking up, going into the shower, driving to work, testing patients, lunch, gym/straight home, dinner and sleep.

nothing really motivates me at the moment, except to earn money for the sake of earning money.

i used to earn money so i could go out to watch movies/shop to doll up nicely/eat good food.

i guess im borned to be like this.

i never really had any passion for anything.

when i was younger, i tried dancing/drawing/play the organ/learn arithmetics etc..

and never once have i ever accomplished a good end result.

i mean well, i did well when i was learning to do it..but that's it.

i never did continue towards the end till i eventually actually gained a proper talent.

so now, im left with no talent at all..

unless u count being alone, emo-ing and eating as a talent :D

i had a really bad day yesterday..

coupled with my already pretty lousy mood for the past week,

encountering an inpatient in the hospital wasnt exactly my idea of a good end to my day at work.

i donno if it was the way i explained it to her, or she was most probably just really blur in the head..but she COULD NOT perform the technique properly at all.

being the stubborn me, i kept trying to explain it to her..and even demonstrating it to her myself...yet she still wasnt able to do it properly.

i was completely frustrated to the point that i almost teared up.

and i felt so hopeless..with no one there to rely on. i dont even have my usual source of comfort anymore. no one to whine to, and manja to.

i mean of course i have my family and friends, but normally i dont really like expressing my feelings. that would just make me feel really useless.

maybe staying here isnt such a good idea after all.

my family is always there for me, i know it, and

my friends are all over the place..and even though i can feel their support

it still really aint enough.

at the end of the day, when i'm at home and just about to go to bed..

i'm ultimately alone. under the sheets, hugging the teddy bear..indulging in my own thoughts.

even falling asleep stimes can be hard..or at times i just force myself to sleep so as to forget all the thoughts that has been tormenting me when i am awake.

strangely, im really down in my mood today. i've been okay since the break up, not perfectly fine..but definitely okay. i thought the break up was a good idea..i accepted it, and i lived with it. but seriously, changes arent easy.

the thought of not having anyone there to rely on anymore and just spend quality time with, really puts my mood down.

eating good food to comfort myself..yeah, just a temporary relief which well..might probably result in me complaining that im fatter lol.

i guess im just lost cos im all alone again. perhaps just missing the company..more so than the feelings for the other half.

urgh. im gonna be happy again after gym today. and oh, i had some winter veg soup for lunch and it was totally yuck )= so much for trying to eat healthy food haha

love,

carol

Holiday!

i absolutely want to go on a holidayyyy.

holidaysss more like it... everywhere!

To korea! to Bali! to Thai! )):

yippedoopedooo!! definitely must go to one.. shalll have stg to look fwd tooo :)

<3

life goes on

life goes on.

i keep reminding myself that it's for the better.

well, i do know it is for the better..

but i guess it's not easy to move on so easily.

easier said than done. o.o

i'll be fine :)

Memories

What a life I had when your on my side
Sharing happy thoughts,laughing together
And the things I can never forget
Are the happy moments we have shared
Hope you can remember
All the days that we were together

To say goodbye is the hardest thing to do
Cause our memories etched deeply in my heart
But there’s nothing I can do
Is to go even if it hurts
Yet the thought of u will never be forgotten.

Memories so sweet to remember
It lingers in my heart and in my mind
For it’s the only lasting reason
That holds you dear forever
I’ll be back,wish we could be together….

This poem was written/submitted by Meg Donna R. Aba-a.

....but i guess we weren't meant to be.

:)

life goes on

i guess i got my wish.

was complaining how everyday was repetitive and that there should be more to our rship.

and i got just that.

am single again.

wouldnt say that im completely unaffected by it, but what can i say?

we spent 5 months together, there's bound to be memories that reminds me of him.

but yeah, i do think it's for the better too.

but to be friends? i hardly think that's possible.

hi and bye friend, yeah.

but not ones that can share their problems etc. i dont think that's possible at all.

haha.

stimes i think, will i ever find the one?

people say you'll know for sure when u meet the right one, and so far..

i still havent come across that at all.

i think i need to start changing the criteria i look for in guys.

stable ones, carol, stable ones. :)

okay, i'll finish off with Roly Poly by T-ara.

cute and bubbly song.

dreams

i just had a dream again today.

and the meaning of the dreams are really accurate.

happened before last year too, and the meaning really depicted what i was feeling that time.

this time..

i dreamt that i got lost while i was taking a train..

and i was brought to a really faraway place.

while taking the train, i called someone to seek for help. but i didnt get any.

had to ask for help from a passenger on the train.

then after i got off at a platform to catch another train back the other way,

i encountered a ghost while i wanted to use the toilet, and ended up running back out feeling scared.

Lost.

To dream that you are lost, suggests that you have lost your direction in life or that you have lost sight of your goals. You may be feeling worried and insecure about the path you are taking in life. If you try to call for help, then it means that you are trying to reach out for support. You are looking for someone to lean on. Alternatively, being lost means that you are still adjusting to a new situation in which the rules and conditions are ever changing.

Ghost.

Ghosts are representative of something that is no longer obtainable or within reach. It indicates that you are feeling disconnected from life and society. Try to figure out what the ghosts wants or what it is looking for. The dream may also be a calling for you to move on and abandon your outdated modes of thinking and behavior.

lol super accurate the dreams.

mehh. :)