spontaneous.

haha feels good to be spontaneous.

but there's the risk of doing stg stupid since i'm not exactly using my brain very well at the moment.

excitement, excitement.

really need those now.

dayum.

probably should have watched paranormal activity with cheryl and the rest js now but i was busy doing stg else.

now cheryl's too freaked out, haha.

went to phillip island 2day with cheryl and kai han for a day trip.

visited A Maze N things..it was alright.

at least a trip somewhere to take my mind off things.

the most interesting and exciting part of that place was the free fall thing we did.

had to hang onto the monkey bar which was like at least 50ft high, then let go on free fall then slided down..

damn chun man. =D

that totally cheered me up abit.

what next? (:

spontaneous laaahhhh.

the backup plan.

the happy carol's gonna be back soon.

just give me say... 2 weeks? hehe.

and im pretty sure i'll be alright again. woots.

so my backup plan for now..

1. go on trips - been asking friends to plan trips and bring me places haha

2. shopping

3. check out cool cafes and restaurants; gonna go to some buffet place at boxhill monday night

4. watch series

5. crash friends' place

6. drinking

7. movies

8. work

9. city, city, cityyyyyy. just hang with friends and talk crap for all i care.

hrmmm pretty long list, no? =D haha.

seems like i'm gonna be on another very long vacation before i hit work life.

i reckon i should be saying, "crap, i'm doomed for."

but instead, i'm gonna say "ahh, this is how life should be."

:D

xoxo

goodbye.

it's for the best, huh?

i didn't understand what he was doing for us, i didnt.

but i guess i kinda do now.

stubbornness so strong from both sides, yet i had no choice but to give in.

wanted to spend the remaining days with him

but

in a way it'd just make us both more depressed and sad when the time comes for him to finally leave?

i guess that kinda make sense..but just that my stubbornness and reluctance to give in clouded my thinking. all i had in my mind was that "i wanna spend time with him while i still can.."

i dont care if i'm gonna hurt more later since making more memories tgt is not gonna do us any good since there won't be a "us" in the end.

i guess girls and guys really do think differently.

girls just do things and then think abt the consequences later.

but guys like him, actually think about what's best for each of us.

he said: "trust me, i'm doing this for the better".

ok, despite wanting to spend at least a last date together..

i guess i will just have to do with never even seeing him again till he leaves.

and who knows when will the next time be till we meet again.

and of cos, things will be so different.

it'll hurt then..when that time comes.

but it wouldnt be worse then how i feel now.

everywhere i go, i can't help thinking.

last night at seven, was pure disaster.

i couldn't smile. i really couldnt.

i felt helpless, i felt lost, i felt hurt.

we had memories there at seven too.

and hearing the same song playing made me breakdown.

make me wanna just crawl into a nice, isolated hole and hide in there forever.

i wouldnt know what to do if not for my friends.

thanks so much peeps. i really, really appreciate it.

and sorry for showing my emo-ness so much.

and now..i guess i'm just gonna say..

goodbye for now.

cousin.

had a great chat with Billy on Msnnn

kinda cleared up my mind abit..

and i feel much better now.

had a couple of laughs too.

made him anti- someone that he's never even spoken to before.

and then he randomly posted a wiki link of a Angora rabbit to me.

haha.-_- it's basically just a whole ball of furry being. haha. his convo with abby.

〖 abï 〗~☆彡 says:

cute omg so cuteeeeeeeee

billy to me: i was like

frozen in time

haha

like in my head was all "omg omg omg omg omg omgggggg omg omg omg omg"

LMAO.

billy: abi going gila dy. the rabbit so UGLY right.

HAHA

iOS 4!!!

shittttt.

i just checked out the new features they have for iOS4..seems damn good weh.

saw the updated version of the iphone too..

like can multitask, can create folders for ur apps, got 5x zoom for the camera, can tap to focus when you wanna video..

actually the new iphone itself looks damn sexy also. haha.

so i'm figuring out how to actually upgrade my phone to the latest firmware.

but apparently i shouldnt dload the latest firmware yet since i wanna keep my phone unlocked.

but currently trying to jailbreak my phone to the 3.1.3 firmware.

not that it makes much diff i think..but i feel like my phone damn outdated since it's on 3.0.1 firmware.haha

fingers crossed that it'll work out fine since i'm a bloody computer noob kinda. haha

*sighs*

the button's been pushed.

i realised that..

i cant be myself at all in front of someone that i like.

well, i guess that's normal cos ppl tend to be more cautious about what they do and all since they care what the other person thinks.

but..

is it really normal for most ppl?

cos i realised i really have this huge problem.

i totally cannot talk to them like how i would normally talk to a good friend.

like just freaking joke around and shit.

but the thing is, i can totally talk at ease using whatsapp/text/msn.

anything not involving talking in person.

haha.

awkwardness and acting uncomfortable..that's not bound to happen right?

i am definitely weird.

really something that i need to work on )=

i guess it's just how i am..i'm always paranoid and afraid that i do stg stupid/silly.

but that shouldnt be the case right?

i should totally be at ease, and be the least embarrassed or shy in front of the other half.

lol, anyhoo..the title of the post.

what i'm referring to is that..

now i'm trying to be more carefree and freaking fix that problem i js mentioned earlier.

but then again, it doesn't freaking matter much anyway.

just need to train myself for when the next one comes along haha.

almost finish watching season 1 of supernatural!

it is pretty good stuffs. heard that this series gets better.

cant wait..

today last min boss called me to work.

bah.

this week gonna work for like 4 or 5 days again.

but seven this fridaayy????

hrmmm.

again.

it happened again.

bah.

so frustrating.

is it just that there's something wrong with me?

or that i'm just being stupid trying?

haha.

went to westfield fountain gate todayyy.

and i deposited cash $$$ from work into my bank account!

woots.

and i almost, ALMOST didnt shop at all..

but ended up getting myself a cute mickey night wear and a boxers for a total of $15.

-_-

well..at least that was all.

and, and..we bought krispy kreme too!

oh, forgot to mention that i went there with some workmates..

then later after that went over to her place and had donuts and lambbb and salad. (:

so totally skipping dinner tonite..at least that was what me and my friend said earlier.

but..i'll pbb get hungry some time around 9 or ten ish..so yeah.

i might js eat stg.